Many parents seek advice to me recently, they reflect a common problem, communicate difficulty with adolescent child namely, the child bunts to the parent, conflict. Their child majority is high school is born, still have student of high grade of junior high school, it is the child at adolescence.

When the child is small, the parent calls the child how to be done how to do, the contradiction of parentage is not outstanding. But as the child grown, arrived adolescence, they begin to move toward independence, they begin to have their idea, they need to obtain esteem and understanding. They do not wish reassume censures, do not be willing again by " arrangement " , become " if listening to mom " .

A lot of parents discover the child's change changed the attitude that treats the child accordingly, restrain oneself mood as far as possible, talk with gentle manner and child as far as possible, but discover or be collided by the child, be bunted by the child. Some parents plaint " my a good word is good say he is inexorable, enrage me quickly dead. Enrage me quickly dead..

So, what how talk to you just can avoid the child is inimical? Having a key is to use " I " talk.

Our parent is used as a child to the child " you... " talk to the child, "You should... " , " you must... " , " you cannot... " etc, this " you " the word can contain a kind of flavor that blame and controls, our parent majority was used to all the time talk to the child with this kind of statement. Get the experience of parent certainly, the child that is in adolescence tastes to this kind can become aware exquisitely come out, although the parent had controlled mood as far as possible.

Child place cannot accept be blamed and be controlled, so their naturally generated resentment. Now, the parent should convert " I " the word talks, for instance: "I think efficiency of this kind of method study will be a bit taller. " , " my opinion is to take an examination of liberal art to suit more. " , " I feel is to be in the morning in the home nosh is more wholesome. " parent of a lot of moment wants those who speak his to experience only went, for instance need child breakfast comes home to say: "Mom (I) wait for you to come home anxious died. " want the child to change talking manner to say: "Listen to you to talk to mom so, mom (I) very sad. " when the child notices sanitation, need says: "Mom (I) smell your hair is already smelly smelly. " such children can know how he should be done, do not have the feeling that be controlled and blames again.

Adolescent child cannot resemble a child again same surelysubject sb to discipline, need parent is treated with equal valued manner. They have their idea, we cannot count on them to accept the parent's thought and notion completely, perhaps some problems need them to be accepted through unsuccessful ability. Also cannot count on a little undesirable habit to be able to be passed twice persuade can change, need us to be treated patiently.
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