In seeking advice from an activity, came a father of 6 years old of boys. His private prosecution is one works be an upright person the person with ideal pursuit, also be very strict to the child's education. Because be the boy, so father more think " raise do not teach, of father over- " . Since 3 years old, with respect to requirement child everyday 6 when before get up, follow father to do all sorts of sports activities. The respect waits in habit of life daily life, study, the ways one gets along with others, have the level that makes clear strictly. Rigorous training, fostered to defend the discipline, good child that knows courtesy. Kin, neighbour, teacher boast this child is particularly sensible, resemble " young adult " .
This father also fosters the son's achievement to feel proud for oneself. However, a thing caused father's concern recently. Father discovery: This child faces old people praise not happy, syare blankly alone sometimes, seem there is a load on one's mind like adult; Still have many times, discover the child hides in him room to cry secretly even. Does father enquire the child how? The child can change on one pair of smiling face immediately, say it's nothing.
From inside the narration of this father, we can see one is in what parents fosters below rigid surelysubject sb to discipline as a child " poppet " . However, beyond the mark pursuit does " poppet " cost, often this child must be depressed sacrifice even the demand of ego.
4 coming 6 years old is everybody the period of first time arousal of self-awareness, before the child of this period resembles 3 years old no longer in that way only parental life is from, began to have oneself view however. A lot of parents have such feeling, the child becomes piquant make trouble, again not obedient. This phase, from psychology development comes up say, the child should finish the attaching depart with parents. On one hand, he should continue to depend on parents, do not wish to lose parental care; On the other hand, he wants to cast off parental control again, go one's own way. This is the period with a contradictory psychology, the child often is met not know what to do.
This boy of 6 years old, also struggle in this contradiction. The arousal of self-awareness, let him have the impulse that resists father. However, long-term since father's education, reach old people complimentary to his, let him form another kind of idea again: "Good child " it is the child that hears adult word, he must control the demand of ego. Then, before adult, he continues to act " poppet " part, heart however no longer happy, depressive even, angst.
To the boy's father, need to understand the child's bewilderment at this moment, change before certainly means, admit what encourage the child even " rebel " , at the same time moderate land offers help and guidance. The child walks out of this bewilderment, grow with respect to what won the heart.
Psychology considers to make clear: Ego control has to be spent aptly. It is easy that ego has controlled strong children angst, depressed, disagreement group; And arrived adolescence, such child often rebels fiercer, one part still can become problem girl.
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